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“90% water, 10% caffeine” – A coffee-addict’s painful way to green tea – Part I

by Katharina Binder
Wednesday November 15th, 2017
in Discover
0

DSC01741

Sunday, April 3, 2016:

Hey, my name is Kathi and I am a coffee addict. Coffee is the one thing that keeps me going. 90% of the time you will find me holding a coffee cup. I blame it on my mom. As long as I can remember, she had been starting and ending her day with coffee. In her defense, I do have to say that she tried to keep me away from it. But the heart wants what it wants. (Yes, I know how sad that sounds.) So, while I hold this special drink very close to my heart I do realize that this is a very destructive love. This is why I am going on a self-experiment: One week without coffee, starting tomorrow. When I agreed to this a couple of days ago, I thought “It will be fine. I’ll have headaches for a couple of days but that’s it” Well, after researching the matter I am not so sure anymore. Apparently, sudden caffeine withdrawal makes some people go crazy. Insomnia, nausea, irritability, a lack of concentration, anxiety, depression, you name it. So thanks to Doctor Google, I am now not only worried about myself, but also about my friends. I hope I’ll still have some by the end of the week.

The rules of this experiment: Starting Monday morning, I am not going to drink coffee in any form for a week. To make sure I am not going completely insane I will be allowed to drink green tea, though. It has less caffeine in it and is not as bad as coffee – that’s what the internet says – but will hopefully keep anxiety, depression and co away. We will see…

Monday, April 4, 2016:

8:30 – Despite all the worries of the last days, I feel pretty good about this coffee-less week. Didn’t even completely hate the cup of green tea I just had. Mission “Get healthier” – let’s go!

12:42 – It’s incredible how much a person can yawn at lunch time. Pretty sure my teacher will send me home because of disrespectful behavior soon. I wish I could do something about it…

15:06 – Oh hey there, headache…

17:28 – For some reason I have been really cheerful today, despite the lack of coffee… Not sure what’s going on. Maybe the sun is curing my withdrawal issues. Didn’t cure the headache, though.

22:34 – The first day is basically over. I replaced coffee with wine at some point. Is that bad? Not sure. My headache kept getting stronger, but it is pretty much gone now. Not sure if I have just gotten used to it by now or if it is over already. In general, it was not a bad day at all. I even got a “Did you have a secret cup of coffee?” comment because I was so chatty and happy. But to clarify, I did not have a single cup. Although the fact that I just asked a possible business partner what kind of coffee she will drink at our meeting next week shows that I am still insane. Not my proudest moment:

Dear Ms X,

This is the agenda for our meeting next week.

On a different note, how do you like to drink your coffee in the morning? I like mine with a lot of milk. Just in case you were wondering.

Kind regards,
Katharina Binder, expert in great first impressions (and all things coffee)

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

9:37 – Just woke up feeling pretty good. Coffee is still my first thought after waking up, but I didn’t start crying when walking past the coffee machine. So I guess that’s an improvement.

12:19 – I didn’t even have a cup of green tea yet, and I’m still perfectly fine. Intriguing. Maybe it IS possible to live without any caffeine whatsoever…

15:04 – Yeah, no. I take it all back. Just fell asleep while reading something really important. Can’t even remember what it was about. Going to fail all my classes if this keeps happening. Is a tiny little cup cheating? Just a sip maybe?

15:45 – I didn’t succumb the temptation of that bittersweet cup of deliciousness after all. And what do I get for it? A heavy headache. It’s back to green tea, I guess. Oh the joys. (I hope I can go through one day without any caffeine whatsoever by the end of this week…)

16:15 – Just read that green tea is actually pretty healthy. Does that mean I can drink as much of it as I want? Or does that have the same effect as drinking coffee? I am so confused.

17:50 – “She’s 90% water, 10% caffeine” – now I remember how this coffee addiction happened… Wanting to be Lorelai Gilmore. Well, it happened. And I’ve got mental issues. Just like her.

Photo: Buzzfeed.com
Photo: Buzzfeed.com, Lorelai Gilmore

19:49 – My amazingly supportive flatmate is currently trying to talk me into giving up. Because it’s funny, apparently. Starting to understand these withdrawal symptoms. The poor people reporting those symptoms weren’t actually going through caffeine withdrawal, they just suffered from annoying flatmates. Watch out, Guillermo, irritability is coming for you.

Wednesday, 6 April 2016

7:30 – I’M SO TIRED! Somebody give me cof… Damn it.

8:15 – Damn, I fell back asleep. Going to be late. How messed up is my life without coffee??

9:11 – Made it to school on time. But why are those sofas so comfortable? Not going to lie, there is a high risk of me falling asleep again… I wish I could have coffee, just to give me something to do besides studying. Starting to think I just used coffee as means of distraction.

9:26 – Working on a group project. “The goal of our project is to provide Kathi with as much coffee as she needs to concentrate on the project’s actual goal”

13:02 – Running around school humming. Seems like this “detox” is not affecting me in any way.

14:03 – I hate people. They are so annoying. I could kill somebody right now. Seriously.

14:11 – Either I suddenly started developing crazy mood swings or the depression phase of withdrawal is kicking in now. Going to start crying any second. In class. What is happening?

15:34 – The school cafeteria offers green tea. Hurray. Maybe people will start talking to me again once I had a dose of caffeine.

17:13 – Somebody made coffee in this apartment and left it out for me to stare at. Whoever it was – I will hunt you down and it won’t end pretty…

23:00 – Spent the rest of the day kind of working and kind of just hanging out with my flatmates. No more headaches, thanks to green tea and entertaining people around. Let’s hope I can go without green tea tomorrow…

 

Can she make it or not? We’ll find out next week. Same place, same time!

Katharina Binder

Katharina Binder

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