This story is about one Finn and three Estonians visiting CERN. They are talking about their daily activities but it has been written quite unusually. They have written it up in a way which mimics how a Finnish person can speak English and how they hear it.

Finländmän änd 3 Estuniamän kou tu CERN. Veri important roubot projekt.
When mäns flai tu Svitserländ, tempratsure warmer. In Geneve tram änd bus veri long, much space. Mäns entsoi personal speis. Mäns see hotel, kännot kou pekoos no tunnel under highway. Mäns no complain, walk extra kilometer. Eat but not like Fränce lasanje, kou back tu Svitserländ eat burger. Burger dry, need 3 liiter piör. Mäns tired, take uber tu France.
New day, mäns take luksuri taksi tu Svitserländ. Highway very slow, so taksi take pedestrian road – mäns amazed. Projekts start, mäns häv tu puild roubot. Roubot häs tu shou emousshiöns, tis kounna be hard. After wörk, mäns trink piör, but not find moose. Mäns eat svitserländ tsokolade. Mäns tired, take uber tu France.

Next day, mäns eat breikfäst at hotel, but not find riil food. Mäns eat kroisant. Kou tu wörk. Take koffii, pekoos frii. Continue programming änd builting roubot. Tis day very big day for mäns. Kou tu Atlas detectör 100 miiter belou graund. Mäns very amazed, but not shou emousshiöns. Mäns survaiv radioäktiv area. Mäns tired, take uber tu France.


Ägen new day. Mäns still not find kuud breikfäst. Tsek eemails. Continue wörking with roubot protutaip. Also kou tu CERN junkjard, very organised, mäns like. One män get lost, but find Steve Jobs’s circuit board – feels winning thö Viking-lottu. Long day, but roubot now show little emousshiöns. Mäns no show emousshiöns. Roubots wörk, but disain hurt eyes. Mäns tired, take uber tu France.

Fourth day, still not find kuud breikfäst. Mäns want bläk bread. Tis day mäns wörk hard. Wörk whole day until mornink, mäns like unlimited hours. Roubots redi, still show no emousshiöns. Disain wos easy änd fäst, mäns all Nordic.


Fraiday mäns still not find kuud breikfäst. Important day, so mäns walk tu wörk cross border, no passport tsek. Must present roubot tu scientists. Mäns very nervöys, pekoos must spiik tu new people. All kou success, all roubots wörk. Evening mäns häv party in old hall, ständ in ring änd trink piör. Mäns tired, take uber tu France.

Satördei free day, feels weird pekoos no wörk. Mäns never see big mountain, so rent kar änd drive tu Mount Blanc. Kar is Italian, start tu breik while driving. Not kuud. Mountains amazing, still no shou emousshiöns. When drive bäk, take small village road änd find mountain resturan. See whole Geneve from window. Mountain roads snouy, but mäns know rally – stay on track. Mäns tired, drive tu France.



Läst day, soon kouod breikfäst home. Pekoos kroisants, mäns tired änd fät. Mäns kou tu airport, buy suveniir. Flai bäk north, temperature kold ägen. Mäns like bäk in kold. Trip nice, but south europeans talk tuo much. Änd veri ekspensive. Änd no sauna.
Authors: Paavo Pääkkönen & Märt Summatavet